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Alan Pease, author of a book titled "Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps", believes that women are spatially-challenged compared to men. The British firm, Admiral Insurance, conducted a study of half a million claims. They found that "women were almost twice as likely as men to have a collision in a car park, 23 percent more likely to hit a stationary car, and 15 percent more likely to reverse into another vehicle" (Reuters).
Yet gender "differences" are often the outcomes of bad scholarship. Consider Admiral insurance's data. As Britain's Automobile Association (AA) correctly pointed out - women drivers tend to make more short journeys around towns and shopping centers and these involve frequent parking. Hence their ubiquity in certain kinds of claims. Regarding women's alleged spatial deficiency, in Britain, girls have been outperforming boys in scholastic aptitude tests - including geometry and maths - since 1988.
On the other wing of the divide, Anthony Clare, a British psychiatrist and author of "On Men" wrote:
"At the beginning of the 21st century it is difficult to avoid the conclusion that men are in serious trouble. Throughout the world, developed and developing, antisocial behavior is essentially male. Violence, sexual abuse of children, illicit drug use, alcohol misuse, gambling, all are overwhelmingly male activities. The courts and prisons bulge with men. When it comes to aggression, delinquent behavior, risk taking and social mayhem, men win gold."
Men also mature later, die earlier, are more susceptible to infections and most types of cancer, are more likely to be dyslexic, to suffer from a host of mental health disorders, such as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), and to commit suicide.
In her book, "Stiffed: The Betrayal of the American Man", Susan Faludi describes a crisis of masculinity following the breakdown of manhood models and work and family structures in the last five decades. In the film "Boys don't Cry", a teenage girl binds her breasts and acts the male in a caricatural relish of stereotypes of virility. Being a man is merely a state of mind, the movie implies.
But what does it really mean to be a "male" or a "female"? Are gender identity and sexual preferences genetically determined? Can they be reduced to one's sex? Or are they amalgams of biological, social, and psychological factors in constant interaction? Are they immutable lifelong features or dynamically evolving frames of self-reference?
Certain traits attributed to one's sex are surely better accounted for by cultural factors, the process of socialization, gender roles, and what George Devereux called "ethnopsychiatry" in "Basic Problems of Ethnopsychiatry" (University of Chicago Press, 1980). He suggested to divide the unconscious into the id (the part that was always instinctual and unconscious) and the "ethnic unconscious" (repressed material that was once conscious). The latter is mostly molded by prevailing cultural mores and includes all our defense mechanisms and most of the superego.
So, how can we tell whether our sexual role is mostly in our blood or in our brains?
The scrutiny of borderline cases of human sexuality - notably the transgendered or intersexed - can yield clues as to the distribution and relative weights of biological, social, and psychological determinants of gender identity formation.
The results of a study conducted by Uwe Hartmann, Hinnerk Becker, and Claudia Rueffer-Hesse in 1997 and titled "Self and Gender: Narcissistic Pathology and Personality Factors in Gender Dysphoric Patients", published in the "International Journal of Transgenderism", "indicate significant psychopathological aspects and narcissistic dysregulation in a substantial proportion of patients." Are these "psychopathological aspects" merely reactions to underlying physiological realities and changes? Could social ostracism and labeling have induced them in the "patients"?
The authors conclude:
"The cumulative evidence of our study ... is consistent with the view that gender dysphoria is a disorder of the sense of self as has been proposed by Beitel (1985) or Pfäfflin (1993). The central problem in our patients is about identity and the self in general and the transsexual wish seems to be an attempt at reassuring and stabilizing the self-coherence which in turn can lead to a further destabilization if the self is already too fragile. In this view the body is instrumentalized to create a sense of identity and the splitting symbolized in the hiatus between the rejected body-self and other parts of the self is more between good and bad objects than between masculine and feminine."
Freud, Kraft-Ebbing, and Fliess suggested that we are all bisexual to a certain degree. As early as 1910, Dr. Magnus Hirschfeld argued, in Berlin, that absolute genders are "abstractions, invented extremes". The consensus today is that one's sexuality is, mostly, a psychological construct which reflects gender role orientation.
Joanne Meyerowitz, a professor of history at Indiana University and the editor of The Journal of American History observes, in her recently published tome, "How Sex Changed: A History of Transsexuality in the United States", that the very meaning of masculinity and femininity is in constant flux.
Transgender activists, says Meyerowitz, insist that gender and sexuality represent "distinct analytical categories". The New York Times wrote in its review of the book: "Some male-to-female transsexuals have sex with men and call themselves homosexuals. Some female-to-male transsexuals have sex with women and call themselves lesbians. Some transsexuals call themselves asexual."
So, it is all in the mind, you see.
This would be taking it too far. A large body of scientific evidence points to the genetic and biological underpinnings of sexual behavior and preferences.
The German science magazine, "Geo", reported recently that the males of the fruit fly "drosophila melanogaster" switched from heterosexuality to homosexuality as the temperature in the lab was increased from 19 to 30 degrees Celsius. They reverted to chasing females as it was lowered.
The brain structures of homosexual sheep are different to those of straight sheep, a study conducted recently by the Oregon Health & Science University and the U.S. Department of Agriculture Sheep Experiment Station in Dubois, Idaho, revealed. Similar differences were found between gay men and straight ones in 1995 in Holland and elsewhere. The preoptic area of the hypothalamus was larger in heterosexual men than in both homosexual men and straight women.
According an article, titled "When Sexual Development Goes Awry", by Suzanne Miller, published in the September 2000 issue of the "World and I", various medical conditions give rise to sexual ambiguity. Congenital adrenal hyperplasia (CAH), involving excessive androgen production by the adrenal cortex, results in mixed genitalia. A person with the complete androgen insensitivity syndrome (AIS) has a vagina, external female genitalia and functioning, androgen-producing, testes - but no uterus or fallopian tubes.
People with the rare 5-alpha reductase deficiency syndrome are born with ambiguous genitalia. They appear at first to be girls. At puberty, such a person develops testicles and his clitoris swells and becomes a penis. Hermaphrodites possess both ovaries and testicles (both, in most cases, rather undeveloped). Sometimes the ovaries and testicles are combined into a chimera called ovotestis.
Most of these individuals have the chromosomal composition of a woman together with traces of the Y, male, chromosome. All hermaphrodites have a sizable penis, though rarely generate sperm. Some hermaphrodites develop breasts during puberty and menstruate. Very few even get pregnant and give birth.
Anne Fausto-Sterling, a developmental geneticist, professor of medical science at Brown University, and author of "Sexing the Body", postulated, in 1993, a continuum of 5 sexes to supplant the current dimorphism: males, merms (male pseudohermaphrodites), herms (true hermaphrodites), ferms (female pseudohermaphrodites), and females.
Intersexuality (hermpahroditism) is a natural human state. We are all conceived with the potential to develop into either sex. The embryonic developmental default is female. A series of triggers during the first weeks of pregnancy places the fetus on the path to maleness.
In rare cases, some women have a male's genetic makeup (XY chromosomes) and vice versa. But, in the vast majority of cases, one of the sexes is clearly selected. Relics of the stifled sex remain, though. Women have the clitoris as a kind of symbolic penis. Men have breasts (mammary glands) and nipples.
The Encyclopedia Britannica 2003 edition describes the formation of ovaries and testes thus:
"In the young embryo a pair of gonads develop that are indifferent or neutral, showing no indication whether they are destined to develop into testes or ovaries. There are also two different duct systems, one of which can develop into the female system of oviducts and related apparatus and the other into the male sperm duct system. As development of the embryo proceeds, either the male or the female reproductive tissue differentiates in the originally neutral gonad of the mammal."
Yet, sexual preferences, genitalia and even secondary sex characteristics, such as facial and pubic hair are first order phenomena. Can genetics and biology account for male and female behavior patterns and social interactions ("gender identity")? Can the multi-tiered complexity and richness of human masculinity and femininity arise from simpler, deterministic, building blocks?
Sociobiologists would have us think so.
For instance: the fact that we are mammals is astonishingly often overlooked. Most mammalian families are composed of mother and offspring. Males are peripatetic absentees. Arguably, high rates of divorce and birth out of wedlock coupled with rising promiscuity merely reinstate this natural "default mode", observes Lionel Tiger, a professor of anthropology at Rutgers University in New Jersey. That three quarters of all divorces are initiated by women tends to support this view.
Furthermore, gender identity is determined during gestation, claim some scholars.
Milton Diamond of the University of Hawaii and Dr. Keith Sigmundson, a practicing psychiatrist, studied the much-celebrated John/Joan case. An accidentally castrated normal male was surgically modified to look female, and raised as a girl but to no avail. He reverted to being a male at puberty.
His gender identity seems to have been inborn (assuming he was not subjected to conflicting cues from his human environment). The case is extensively described in John Colapinto's tome "As Nature Made Him: The Boy Who Was Raised as a Girl".
HealthScoutNews cited a study published in the November 2002 issue of "Child Development". The researchers, from City University of London, found that the level of maternal testosterone during pregnancy affects the behavior of neonatal girls and renders it more masculine. "High testosterone" girls "enjoy activities typically considered male behavior, like playing with trucks or guns". Boys' behavior remains unaltered, according to the study.
Yet, other scholars, like John Money, insist that newborns are a "blank slate" as far as their gender identity is concerned. This is also the prevailing view. Gender and sex-role identities, we are taught, are fully formed in a process of socialization which ends by the third year of life. The Encyclopedia Britannica 2003 edition sums it up thus:
"Like an individual's concept of his or her sex role, gender identity develops by means of parental example, social reinforcement, and language. Parents teach sex-appropriate behavior to their children from an early age, and this behavior is reinforced as the child grows older and enters a wider social world. As the child acquires language, he also learns very early the distinction between "he" and "she" and understands which pertains to him- or herself."
So, which is it - nature or nurture? There is no disputing the fact that our sexual physiology and, in all probability, our sexual preferences are determined in the womb. Men and women are different - physiologically and, as a result, also psychologically.
Society, through its agents - foremost amongst which are family, peers, and teachers - represses or encourages these genetic propensities. It does so by propagating "gender roles" - gender-specific lists of alleged traits, permissible behavior patterns, and prescriptive morals and norms. Our "gender identity" or "sex role" is shorthand for the way we make use of our natural genotypic-phenotypic endowments in conformity with social-cultural "gender roles".
Inevitably as the composition and bias of these lists change, so does the meaning of being "male" or "female". Gender roles are constantly redefined by tectonic shifts in the definition and functioning of basic social units, such as the nuclear family and the workplace. The cross-fertilization of gender-related cultural memes renders "masculinity" and "femininity" fluid concepts.
One's sex equals one's bodily equipment, an objective, finite, and, usually, immutable inventory. But our endowments can be put to many uses, in different cognitive and affective contexts, and subject to varying exegetic frameworks. As opposed to "sex" - "gender" is, therefore, a socio-cultural narrative. Both heterosexual and homosexual men ejaculate. Both straight and lesbian women climax. What distinguishes them from each other are subjective introjects of socio-cultural conventions, not objective, immutable "facts".
In "The New Gender Wars", published in the November/December 2000 issue of "Psychology Today", Sarah Blustain sums up the "bio-social" model proposed by Mice Eagly, a professor of psychology at Northwestern University and a former student of his, Wendy Wood, now a professor at the Texas A&M University:
"Like (the evolutionary psychologists), Eagly and Wood reject social constructionist notions that all gender differences are created by culture. But to the question of where they come from, they answer differently: not our genes but our roles in society. This narrative focuses on how societies respond to the basic biological differences - men's strength and women's reproductive capabilities - and how they encourage men and women to follow certain patterns.
'If you're spending a lot of time nursing your kid', explains Wood, 'then you don't have the opportunity to devote large amounts of time to developing specialized skills and engaging tasks outside of the home'. And, adds Eagly, 'if women are charged with caring for infants, what happens is that women are more nurturing. Societies have to make the adult system work [so] socialization of girls is arranged to give them experience in nurturing'.
According to this interpretation, as the environment changes, so will the range and texture of gender differences. At a time in Western countries when female reproduction is extremely low, nursing is totally optional, childcare alternatives are many, and mechanization lessens the importance of male size and strength, women are no longer restricted as much by their smaller size and by child-bearing. That means, argue Eagly and Wood, that role structures for men and women will change and, not surprisingly, the way we socialize people in these new roles will change too. (Indeed, says Wood, 'sex differences seem to be reduced in societies where men and women have similar status,' she says. If you're looking to live in more gender-neutral environment, try Scandinavia.)"
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Testosterone and sex drive: As their ages increase, many men suffer from low sex drive, poor stamina and lack of sexual interest. This is due to a low amount of testosterone in their bodies. Normal men should have at least 800 free testosterone roaming in their body, and a number lower than this calls for erectile dysfunction.
It is normal for men to have erectile dysfunction; It is actually widespread than most would think. There are also physical causes for erectile dysfunction, including excess alcohol drinking, brain injuries, extreme anxiety & stress, Heart strokes, high blood sugar and high blood pressure and even Parkinson's disease.
However there has been a traditional "solution" to this problem. Anti erectile dysfunction products such as Viagra & Cialis has been dominating this market and are very popular to men suffering from this "disease"
Today, however, many new 'herbal viagra' products are appearing on the market, promising faster acting time and longer results than viagra. Are these worth the risk? Let's compare their benefits to normal viagra.
Viagra takes 1-2 hours after ingestion to take effect. This is not good enough for most men's needs. Most herbal viagra supplements take effect in 30 minutes, and for some men, 15 minutes. Viagra only lasts a few hours, while herbal viagra lasts at least 4 hours.
Herbal viagra products have no side effects since they all use all natural herbal ingredients such as Niacin, L–Arginine, L-Phenylalaline, Epimedium - these only do good things for your body. For example, Niacin helps releasee Histamine in your body, which causes an increase in sex drive while increasing blood circulation.
Since the penis is made of up blood chambers, increasing blood circulation around the body will result in an easier-to-achieve erection. And also L-Arginine, an amino acid, releases human growth hormone that leads to an increase in length & girth of the penis. This nutrient is vital to males. Epimedium, also known as Horny Goat Weed increases sex drive, and boosts erectile functions. Maca, a herb from Peru, has a name to increase sex drive, and is considered as an effective aphrodisiac. It contains over 50 natural chemicals that enhances the human body. It also helps relieve stress and anxiety. Other ingredients also increase sperm count, seminal volume, testosterone levels and overall energy.
Viagra (Sildenafil Citrate) is used everyday by those suffering from erectile dysfunction; however it has many known side effects, including headaches, flushing, Dyspepsia, Nasal congestion, Urinary tract infection, Abnormal vision, Dizziness, Diarrhea and rashes. Would you want to treat your erectile dysfunction and experience these side effects? Also remember that Viagra can react with other drugs, including but not limited to: Nitroglycerin, Isosorbide Dinitrate, Amyl nitrate and Bosentan.
Herbal viagra can increase your testosterone levels, sperm count and treat erectile dysfunction at a faster rate than viagra without the painful side effects. Also they are cheaper than normal viagra, costing only cost $2 per 2 pills (some cheaper) That's a nice $1 per pill. This is mostly because research & development cost have not been added onto the price. Selling at such low prices makes anti-erectile dysfunction affordable to everyone. Viagra can cost up to a staggering $14 per pill.
Now why would you want to spend 14 times the price for a similar effect when you can get the same benefits with less risk?
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Given the large variations in human penis sizes, discord and dissatisfaction with one's self are unavoidable. The longest erect penis recorded during the famous Kinsey surveys was a shocking ten inches. That is nothing compared to the 12" and 14" behemoths reported in "L'Ethnologie du Sens Genitale", and in Dr. David Reuben's "Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex", respectively. If that makes you want to cry, wait till you hear the good news - the shortest functioning erect penis measurement according to the Kinsey survey was 1 inch. There are, however, some reports in medical literature of penises that do not extend beyond 1 cm. when fully erect. Finally, just so you can know which side of the fence you are hanging from, a study by the Lifestyles Condom Co. indicated that the average erect length of a male sex organ is 5.877 inches.
Women have often been reassuring towards their mates in this regard. "Size doesn't matter", they would say. Few men really believe that. In an online poll that asked if respondents felt that penis size makes a difference in a man's ability to sexually satisfy a partner, 46% of the respondents answered "Very much: Penis size makes a big difference in a man's ability to sexually satisfy a partner". Only 13% responded "Not at all: Penis size makes no difference in a man's ability to sexually satisfy a partner". The poll did not mention how many of the respondents were women and how many were men, but the fact is - men and women believe that size still does matter!
In "The Beefcaking of America," (Psychology Today November/December 1994 issue) Jill Neimark reported the findings from a questionnaire completed by some 1500 male and female readers. The Neimark report suggests that a significant subset of women who are financially independent and rate themselves as physically attractive place a high value on male appearance. A small group unabashedly declared not only an rather unsurprising strong preference for better-looking men, they also indicated that they cared more about penis size, both width and length, than about the physical appearance of the man.
Niemark's survey results also suggests that men believe their appearance has a larger impact on women than the majority of women actually acknowledge. Men indicated they feel their specific physical features, from hairline to penis size, strongly influence their personal acceptability by women. "Size does matter". Judging by the number of sites Google.com returns on a search for "penis enlargement", that seems to be a pretty popular opinion. As long as there are men out there running around with 14" monsters, the rest of the mortals will continue to judge themselves and pray at the altar of everything that grants bigger penises. The results of penis enlargement are not always pretty, considering the various methods that are purportedly effective. Claims range from the scientific to the outrageous, and some of them can be downright nasty. Unlike lizards, men do not have the power to regenerate lost appendages, so it is highly advisable to do a little research before fooling around with Mother Nature's precious gifts.
The following is a list of some penis enlargement methods other than penis pills, followed by some general comments about each;
Enlargement creams do nothing more than increase blood flow in the penis tissue. While this may definitely assist in erection firmness (Which will cause the penis to appear and feel larger), using creams cannot enlarge your penis. There is no known medical evidence too support the claim that topical preparations can do more than increase blood flow, unlike penis pills.
Penis pumps create a vacuum and force blood to the penis tissue. According to Menstuff® Sexhealth columnist Dr. Williams, pumps are mainly used by men who suffer from chronic insulin dependent diabetes or circulatory disorders. They have such poor blood circulation overall that they cannot obtain proper blood flow in their penis area. By using a pump instead of penis pills, the skin and underlying tissues are stretched, allowing them to clamp off the blood flow and consequently trap it in the penis. With the clamp firmly in place, brief sexual encounters can occur. There is little medical evidence that penis pumps cause any actual permanent increase in the size of the penis. There is, however, bad news for "pumpers" out there - after using penis pumps over a period of time, some men claimed they were unable to get erections without the aid of a pump.
This method of penis enlargement has been around for thousands of years. Weights are suspended from the penis to stretch it. With regular use, it can increase penis length - but at a price: It makes the penis thinner, and because of the stretched tissue, lessens the ability to achieve and maintain an erection. This method can also cause a decrease in blood circulation which can lead to serious problems including tissue damage.
Penis enlargement surgery (or phalloplasty) is the Titanic of penis enlargement methods. It is huge, expensive and can end up being the worst disaster of your life. It can lead to serious complications like infection and scar tissue formation which can cause a misshapen penis.
A well known horror story is that of Ron Nance, from Monterey, Calif., who claims that following his penis enlargement surgery he contracted a severe infection at the surgery site. He returned to his doctor, who re-sutured the incision. The complications persisted, and Nance claims he flew to Los Angeles a total of nine times for repairs before turning to other surgeons for help. Nearly two years later, with $20,000 invested in the operation and repairs, Nance states that he remains not only permanently scarred, but impotent. Other enlargement surgery patients have complained of disfigurement, shortening, loss of use of his penis, pain, swelling, excessive scarring, lumpiness, shrinkage, uneven surface with what appears to be cysts, and impotence.
Many penis pills are nothing more than vitamin pills in disguise, and numerous men have been conned into popping them expecting more than what vitamins can deliver. Penis pill salesmen Michael A. Consoli, Vincent J. Passafiume, and several others have signed a consent agreement forfeiting approximately $35 million dollars in seized cash and property to settle charges that they had marketed penis enlargement pills with false claims. Operating as C.P. Direct, Inc., they claimed that their enlargement pill product "Longitude" would permanently enlarge the penis by 1-3 inches. They are not alone.
So what penis enlargement supplements do work? The problem in discovering this lies in the fact that there are approximately 5 new "amazing" penis enlargement pills that appear on the market each month. Most of these products are nothing but Vitamins mixed with a few herbal ingredients to produce a penis pill. Users see NO gains, and this leads to unhappiness and loss of faith in all enlargement supplements.
As with most things, the way to do properly choose a product is through systematic research. This will definitely take some time and effort, however if you obtain the results you desire, in the end it will definitely be worth your while. Some things to keep in mind:
Stay away from any pill which contains Yohimbe. The FDA has placed this substance on its warning list - supplements containing this herb may cause side effects. A respectable supplement site will contain a list of the ingredients that their products contain. The ingredients only tell half the story, the actual blending and quality of the ingredients also counts. This is somewhat more difficult to determine, however.
In general most penis pills are quite safe because their ingredients are non-prescriptive, consisting mostly of natural herbs. However, you should always read the ingredients and consult a doctor before purchasing or taking them. Some supplements have stated that men with diabetes or genital nerve damage should avoid taking enlargement pills.
Penis enlargement pills can be expensive. They usually cost anywhere between $40-$80 per month. If the product indicates that you need to take "booster pills", it is usually a bad sign.
If the product manufacturer claims you can have a penis so large it will make a stallion turn green with envy, you can most likely be sure they are selling you bottled scam instead of penis pills. If the promise sounds too good to be true, then you can assume it is. Sincere supplements will tell it like it is: Results may and will vary from one individual to another.
These can include stronger erections, increased sexual stamina, more intense orgasms, improvement in urinary flow, increased blood circulation to genital area, higher sex drive, increased sperm production and overall improvement in sexual function.
Most penis pill programs offer a set of free exercises with their product. These should not be cast aside - they are vital key to your enlargement process. Do them religiously along with your supplement taking and you will NOT be disappointed.
The penis inferiority complex has been documented for quite some time, and has no doubt existed since men started bathing and showering in full view of each other. Most men seem to feel their penis is small and are envious of someone else's member. This concern and dissatisfaction appears to stem from the cultural belief that larger penises give greater pleasure to women, and that women prefer a man with a huge penises.
So can you pump up with penis pills? My answer is yes. Daily exercises and supplements together can increase the size of your penis. But to do so, you have to be smart, be aware, dedicated, and PLEASE be careful.
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Efficient, strong, superb are the words that have been increasingly associated with Viagra ever since the approval of the drug by the Food And Drugs Administration of USA on March 27, 1998. As the first anti-impotency medicine to treat erectile dysfunction, Viagra became available in the market in plenty; people broke free from the shackles of hesitancy, came forward and made the use of Viagra to overcome the threat known as male erectile dysfunction.
Erectile Dysfunction patients around the world bestowed their trust on the strength of Viagra and it also did not fail them. Their sexual yearnings and desires were considerably fulfilled at the cost of Viagra efficacy. As more and more people around the world started to administer Viagra to their system the sales of the drug also skyrocketed with 140 million Viagra tablets getting sold in the year 2000.
Even after being sexually stimulated due to a whole array of causes like diabetes, kidney disease, prostate cancer, depression, guilt and similar others a person may not be able to trigger off erections required for satisfactory sexual intercourse. It happens due to the lack of strength in the penis caused by the poor flow of blood to the genital section. At such a crucial juncture, Viagra enters the scene of action and its quick action makes the penis instantly filled with blood which further ensures strong erections required for satisfactory physical intercourse.
Amazingly, the strength that Viagra shows against the threat known as male erectile dysfunction has been surpassed by a new and more powerful, exemplary demonstration of Viagra power; i.e. the drug is found to be a chief source of energy for race horses. This new starting news became evident recently with the arrest of two veterinary doctors and a pharmacist in Italy on the charge of administering Viagra to race horses illegally. With the sole motive of profit-making the culprits fed Viagra to the horses, increased their strength and used them in horse races.
When the police nabbed the guilty this aspect of Viagra power till then hidden came to light and along with this revelation, shock waves spread across the world and millions stood startled at this amazing erectile dysfunction drug Viagra. First Viagra made humans strong enough to deal with erectile dysfunction and now the drug has also infused demonic strength into animals. So thereafter, what else?
Well, Pfizer has manufactured this medicine for the sole purpose of treating male erectile dysfunction but slowly and gradually different aspects of Viagra power has been revealed. So from now on when you feel lacking in sexual energy and strength don’t give in; just keep in mind that an inexhaustible source of energy in the form of Viagra is with you and you are fully protected against any form of onslaught that impotency is ready to unleash on you. It would definitely make you confident and once your confidence level is boosted up pop up the prescribed Viagra pills and get ready for a sexual roll.
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"Vanilla" is a term used frequently by those, into more or less alternative lifestyles, for those, who - according to them - are not. The question however is, does "vanilla" actually exist and isn't vanilla actually the new sexual minority?
Let's face it: the we-get-married-live-happily-ever-after have-sex-2.5-times-per-week couple is rapidly becoming a rare phenonomemum in our modern society. Sex before marriage (almost unthinkable fifty years ago) is the current norm. Usually with multiple partners. Especially in the United States teenage mothers still in high school is no longer an exception (not meaning to say that this a a good sign!). More than half of the United States marriages end up in a divorce and this has brought us a new term: "serial monogamy". "Till death do us part" is a vow not many people will stick to these days and if they do it is far from uncommon to engage in such things as threesomes, swinging or simply do what modern day therapists call "spicing up your sexlife".
Is all this "uncommon" or "abnormal"? In terms of evolution actually not. In the end the human species is a mamal and monogomous mamals are indeed very rare. To a point there is evolutionairy logic to becoming pregnant as soon as you can. Why else would nature create fertility at a young age? Give a bonobo (an ape) a pencil and it is likely to draw a penis (yes they can and will, as scientific research has proven). And on the evolutionary calender of mankind things such as monogamy or even marriage make up for less than the last five minutes of that calender.
Can you honestly say you have never engaged in anything kinky?
There is no scientific research to provide a solid answer to that question. But my guess is that in our modern Western society very few people can honestly say they never have. In the current Internet age many - if not most - people at the very least have taken a (sneak)peak at porn-sites, engaged in an erotic chat or even exchanged some steamy email. Exposed belly buttons and navel piercings are common fashion statements and so are spiked leather collars, high heels, short skirts, revealing blouses and push-up bras. Not mention botox and breast implants.
Yes, a breast implant is a form of kinky sex. In the kinky world it is called body manipulation and in fact no different from a tattoo, a piercing, a branding or a scar. What actually is the difference between wearing make up and wearing a sexy leather skirt?
The answer is: your own perception - nothing else.
There's an old joke: "A dirty mind is a joy forever". As in most jokes there is wisdom in this one. The brain is the biggest sex organ. Some would argue it actually is the only one. And that is the whole point. Your own perception is what drives you. And if you want to "hip", "avant garde" or tendsetter? Well, maybe becoming "vanilla" again might be a wise choice.
